Close

Not a member yet? Register now and get started.

lock and key

Sign in to your account.

Account Login

Forgot your password?

How to Rear a Child To Care About Community

10 Feb Mental Health News/Blog | Comments Off on How to Rear a Child To Care About Community

Turn off their Play Stations, shut down Facebook, and help your child feel a sense of purpose by volunteering time with community causes.

By Megan Swoyer

On Wednesday, Rochester Patch kicks off a new feature called “Whiz Kid.”  Whiz Kids are all around the community, and we want to hear about them and honor them for their accomplishments. This article explores ways to help your own child become a Whiz Kid in one way: giving to the community.

Colin just got a scholarship for his volunteer work. Justin is getting a presidential service award for his community service. Robin wants to skip presents at her birthday party and just have the guests bring money for a cause.

Are those your kids? On the other end of the spectrum … one area mom says she can’t get her son to initiate any volunteer work unless it’s with friends and only if required. One dad said his son told him joining clubs is for geeks. And for many children, the favorite day of the year is their birthday because of “all those gifts.”

Wherever your child is on the “sense-of-purpose” scale,  raising empathetic and motivated children requires a lot of parental guidance, say area counselors, teachers and community activists.

And although it may seem tougher than asking your child to give up television and Facebook, turning out dedicated community supporters is one of the most worthwhile things parents can do for their children. It’s challenging but doable, say experts, and will help you create responsible kids and good character.

Young Givers

“To get your kids involved in community projects, start at a young age,” said Carol Mastroianni, executive director of the Birmingham Bloomfield Community Coalition, which is based in the Birmingham Covington School in Bloomfield Hills. “Find things your kids are interested in,” Mastroianni added, “things you can do together as a family.”

Mastroianni cites simple projects such as a neighborhood cleanup or helping at a community or school garden as a few easy ways to get involved.

For the very young, talk to them about how they can help the less fortunate, said  Sara Chase, a clinical psychologist at Rochester Hills-based Abaris Behavioral Health. Chase works with children and adolescents and often suggests that her clients get involved in community activities.

“Consider smaller tasks,” Chase said, “like cleaning their rooms and donating things they don’t need.”

Do As We Do

Ideally, said Chase, parents teach values, compassion, and a sense of community through their example and by doing things with their children from an early age on as part of what families do.

Grandmother, parent and retired Detroit art teacher Linda Logan says role modeling is essential.

“Young kids are hardwired to learn the ways of the world, which means copying adults,” said Logan, a Huntington Woods resident who is a member of the Lawrence Street Gallery in Ferndale. “Older kids, say 8 to 12, need companionship. They’re learning that they can do things wrong, so ‘fear of failure’ sets in.”

Chad Oyer, associate pastor of student ministries at the First United Methodist Church of Birmingham notes that research shows that parents matter most when it comes to their child’s character formation.

“Consequently, children are heavily shaped by seeing their parents’ commitment to and involvement in serving others,” he said. “The best is when parents and students are serving others together.”

Rochester Hills mom Cornelia Pokrzywa has instilled in her three daughters (ages 9, 11 and 13) compassion and community awareness.

“Often, parents believe that children are ‘too young’ or shouldn’t get involved in adult affairs,” Pokrzywa said. “I have always fostered involvement in nonprofits.”

She tries to inspire awareness in different ways, including at her children’s birthday parties.

“In lieu of a gift, we sometimes ask guests to bring an item to donate for a selected charity,” Pokrzywa explained.

One year, it was dog and cat food for an animal shelter; another year it was Teddy bears for the Oakland County’s  Bears on Patrol. One time, the family rented a dunk tank and raised money for CureSearch National Childhood Cancer Foundation.

“Children can participate in walk-a-thons, too,” said Pokrzywa, a lecturer in the department of writing and rhetoric at Oakland University.

Her kids (all musicians) also often provide music at charitable fundraisers. Recently, her daughters performed with the Oakland Youth Orchestra at the Mercy Bellbrook retirement home in Rochester Hills. The family also is involved in helping the Save Our Symphony group to preserve the Detroit Symphony Orchestra.

It’s Never Too Late

Unfortunately, parents don’t always have the time to orchestrate such family interests and outings when their children are young. It’s all they can do to hold jobs, shuttle their kids to school activities and ensure there’s a healthy meal on the table at night. Many busy moms and dads admit that they flat-out did not make community work a priority when their children were in grade school.

No worries, say the experts. It’s never too late to get kids involved, and teenagers are a perfect age group for volunteer service. It’s how you go about motivating them that will determine if they’re up for jumping in.

“Adolescents are at a stage where their interests shift to friends, fun, competition, and belonging,” Chase said. At this age, she suggests considering something like a fundraising car wash or bottle drive where the money is used to improve a local park or purchase items for those less fortunate. This way they can have fun with friends (always a teenage priority) and increase their sense of belonging.

“The result is a compassionate effort, a better sense of connectedness, and belonging to something greater than yourself,” Chase explained.

Longtime teacher Logan says to always remember that teens need to be respected.

“Whatever you plan,” said Logan, “tell them up front, and let them have some say in it.”

Logan also suggests taking an interest in the cause yourself — contribute something to show your interest. And always, “let them invite a friend or two.”

Peers and Pals

Craig Kaplan of Bloomfield Hills relishes the camaraderie that goes along with volunteer service. He combined his passion for leadership and the arts and his desire to help the community by starting RAD, which stands for Reinstituting the Arts into Detroit.

Every month, Kaplan, a 17-year-old senior at Lahser High School in Bloomfield Hills, works with other area high schools to organize visits to O.W. Holmes Elementary-Middle School  in Detroit. There hasn’t been an art program at the school for about 10 years.

The teens orchestrate craft-making sessions and read books to the kids.

“I think the kids’ favorite craft was when we made butterflies out of coffee filters,” said Kaplan, who first would visit  the school as an independent study project with  his grandmother and a friend or two. Then the idea grew and he wanted to get his classmates involved.

“Over the summer, I made RAD official and got fieldtrip permission forms, etc. from the  high schools,” Kaplan said. He also is assured that the program will continue once he graduates.  “It can maintain itself now that it’s official,” he said.

The December RAD session drew a record-number of volunteers — 128 high school students from Lahser and Andover high schools working with 14 classes/300 students, all making bird ornaments out of acorns.

“I wanted kids to see that art can be created out of anything,” Kaplan said.

The industrious — and entrepreneurial — teen says one of the best parts of heading up a small program is that he has the ability to run it himself.

“I wanted the autonomy to create something myself. Even though it’s a small program, it’s personal and I care about it and I connect with the kids. I made a connection.”

What’s Your Passion?

Stuck on what cause to get involved with?

“Parents should help their kids find a cause,” said Pokrzywa. “Think about the causes you support and let your child know why you take your own time and money to give to this cause.”

Pokrzywa suggests finding causes that your kids are interested in. “We are music lovers —  my daughters are all budding musicians,” she said. Therefore, her family likes to support musical causes.

Oftentimes, kids want to help other kids who are their same age. The Kids Helping Kids One Step at a Time Walk event, co-chaired by Connie Beckett of Troy and Kelly Shuert of Bloomfield Hills, is a perfect way to get kids involved.

Hosted by The Children’s Charities Coalition  (comprised of  four nonprofit organizations based in Oakland County: CARE House, The Community House, Orchards  Children’s Services and Variety The Children’s Charity), the event requests that each walker raise at least $75, which benefits kids of the coalition.

“We have found that the kids who participate in the walk are members of their school band, swim team, choral group, etc.,” said Gigi Nichols, communications director for The Community House.

“They love volunteering with their friends, and peer recruitment works well.” The walk is May 1 (registration begins at 9 a.m. and starts and ends in Birmingham’s Shain Park).

“With schools and families working hard to instill positive character traits in children, this is a perfect way to teach children the importance of giving back to the community,  Nichols said of the walk, now in its fourth year.

Churches also offer great ways to get involved with the community.

“Many youth today have a passion and a desire to make a difference in the world,” said The Rev. John Harnish of the First United Methodist Church in Birmingham. “They see the news, they know what’s going on and they want to have an impact,” he added. “If we can offer them opportunities that touch their hearts, they will respond.”

popular personal essay writers for hire usa buy astronomy presentation write my religious studies thesis statement help me write professional phd essay on trump esl dissertation results writing for hire best custom essay ghostwriter for hire for college best admission essay writers service au professional dissertation hypothesis proofreading services for college professional masters blog post topic custom academic essay editor for hire for mba top curriculum vitae editing service au help with my custom critical thinking online pay to write cheap admission essay best blog post writing services cheap paper ghostwriters services for university professional homework writer website gb top dissertation hypothesis editing services uk custom essay ghostwriter for hire for university esl problem solving editor site us type my classic english literature report help me write custom reflective essay esl critical analysis essay proofreading for hire ca cheap curriculum vitae ghostwriting site us best reflective essay ghostwriters websites for mba top dissertation hypothesis editor sites usa cheap content editing for hire for college popular report ghostwriting services usa popular admission essay editor services usa descriptive essay writer site uk custom dissertation abstract editing sites cheap research proposal editing service usa best school essay writers service online cheap college cheap essay advice buy english report professional blog editor website for masters professional dissertation ghostwriting websites online esl case study ghostwriting service us pay to do top problem solving online cheap critical analysis essay proofreading sites for college cheap article review ghostwriters sites uk soft shell lobster top article ghostwriting websites au custom creative essay writing service gb popular blog post ghostwriter site for university top expository essay writers websites custom university essay editing sites for university cheap mba admission essay ideas do my human resource management creative writing dissertation ghostwriter websites au professional speech editor websites for masters best writing service online esl analysis essay writer website uk professional school homework assistance best dissertation methodology writing for hire for phd best literature review ghostwriting websites for phd popular application letter writing websites for college esl letter writer website gb top definition essay writer site best creative writing writers sites online popular biography editor sites for university culture essay writing for hire best cover letter ghostwriter website for mba top presentation ghostwriting services usa professional dissertation methodology proofreading services for college esl blog post writers sites for masters esl speech editor website usa popular university essay ghostwriting sites for phd professional dissertation methodology writers websites for masters cheap papers writing service gb top papers writer sites for phd esl descriptive essay editor sites for university top home work writer website for university top dissertation results editing service for mba popular thesis proposal writers for hire online cheap definition essay ghostwriter services usa professional scholarship essay editor site us esl bibliography editing site online type my family and consumer science curriculum vitae cheap expository essay proofreading for hire critical analysis essay proofreading services au law essay sample top personal statement editor site buy professional letter top academic essay ghostwriters service for school popular blog ghostwriters sites us best mba essay writer sites ca reflective essay for university write my engineering application letter cheap masters essay writers services for mba professional presentation ghostwriter website ca ancient egyptian paper best admission essay writing websites for university custom thesis writer for hire us custom reflective essay ghostwriter service for school popular college essay ghostwriter site online custom definition essay writing for hire gb write environmental studies bibliography popular essays ghostwriter site uk cheap assignment ghostwriters service for mba custom paper writing sites gb pay to write admission essay on lincoln professional personal statement proofreading websites for masters cheap scholarship essay writing sites ca top content ghostwriting service gb popular analysis essay editing website online esl report writing service for mba help with my ancient civilizations dissertation chapter top problem solving ghostwriters site online popular course work ghostwriters website for university best definition essay ghostwriter site for university cheap analysis essay writer service for school help with trigonometry dissertation methodology custom editor service for masters preschool child observation report pay to do communication term paper pay to do health course work popular essays ghostwriting for hire online esl thesis proposal writing websites for mba type my top best essay professional research paper ghostwriter service usa professional research proposal proofreading service esl dissertation proposal ghostwriter service for university popular creative writing ghostwriter websites ca best blog ghostwriting site for college best content writer service gb professional presentation ghostwriting site uk esl university dissertation chapter example popular mba essay writers sites online popular dissertation introduction ghostwriters site au liberal view on poverty order top scholarship essay on usa top scholarship essay proofreading service ca top annotated bibliography writers for hire for phd cheap mba dissertation methodology examples the buried life summary popular argumentative essay writer sites for masters best research proposal editor sites for phd professional research proposal proofreading websites usa top papers editor sites uk esl biography proofreading service us cheap college cover letter samples popular college creative writing examples pay for custom problem solving online personal proofreading service au custom dissertation abstract writers websites online cheap research paper writing site online best bibliography editing services gb hamlet comic relief top university biography topics top scholarship essay writers website gb esl term paper editor website for masters top term paper ghostwriters services us esl admission essay writers for hire for university personal statement editor for hire online top blog writers site au cheap paper editing services for college business essay writer sites top speech editing for hire us pay for my custom reflective essay on donald trump cheap dissertation chapter writers websites for school professional report ghostwriter service for college best admission paper ghostwriting services for masters custom blog editor site for mba julius caesar paper help with my esl persuasive essay on civil war custom thesis writing service for university custom scholarship essay writer services ca a seperate peace theme write esl expository essay on usa community identity stability best movie review ghostwriters sites for university custom article review editing websites for school pay for professional rhetorical analysis essay on brexit community essay sample top resume ghostwriting site for phd esl article review writing services ca best book review proofreading website for mba custom thesis writing site au popular admission paper ghostwriter website au best book review editing websites usa cheap homework editor website for university cheap cover letter writer websites for mba just lather esl university academic essay example esl paper editing services ca best university cv example pay to write popular admission essay on lincoln professional research paper editing sites online top case study ghostwriter site for college top speech ghostwriting website for mba professional speech writing website for university custom course work proofreading for hire for college professional dissertation methodology editor for hire for masters popular rhetorical analysis essay proofreading service au critical essay ghostwriting for hire uk help with my esl custom essay on usa popular dissertation hypothesis ghostwriter for hire for mba best thesis ghostwriters service for mba pros of racial profiling custom critical analysis essay ghostwriting site usa pay to get phd essay on usa cheap cv ghostwriters for hire usa esl research proposal ghostwriting service gb write me esl book review esl best essay proofreading site help me write shakespeare studies cover letter help me write best critical essay on presidential elections professional cv ghostwriting sites for mba write my best bibliography online best masters thesis advice top analysis essay writers website for university website review essay best analysis essay writer site for university pay for my professional creative essay on presidential elections custom content writing sites au best reflective essay ghostwriting for hire usa professional curriculum vitae editor website au esl dissertation chapter writer websites usa custom phd biography topic cheap phd curriculum vitae advice popular book review ghostwriter service for university write top business plan online blog ghostwriters sites online esl university assignment sample custom essays ghostwriters for hire for school custom essay ghostwriters service top persuasive essay ghostwriting service for school custom reflective essay editor websites ca top academic essay writers service for phd best writer site au professional dissertation proposal writers service for college top admission essay editor for hire for school best dissertation results editor service for mba popular rhetorical analysis essay editor site au cheap phd essay ghostwriters website for university custom scholarship essay writing service usa blog post ghostwriters service au best phd essay ghostwriter website for school cheap biography writers website us custom argumentative essay proofreading websites for mba cheap mba business plan topics help writing life science thesis write medicine letter popular academic essay ghostwriting services au pay to do popular phd essay on presidential elections professional admission paper ghostwriting for hire gb professional content writers sites for school help me write best masters essay on lincoln esl course work ghostwriter site uk popular article ghostwriter for hire for phd custom critical essay ghostwriting sites uk scholarship editor website usa mom is best popular blog post ghostwriter sites au cheap academic essay writer service au cheap scholarship essay writers services au cheap dissertation writing for hire usa top thesis proposal ghostwriter service gb professional academic essay ghostwriting service for university dissertation abstract writing for hire gb popular content writer website au esl annotated bibliography writers website uk best critical analysis essay writers services for university custom dissertation results editing websites for masters love in la sparknotes top biography writing for hire uk best academic essay ghostwriters site for university top report ghostwriters service for college popular dissertation introduction writer services for masters professional best essay editor services us popular article review ghostwriters services for college custom personal essay on usa custom thesis proposal ghostwriters websites for mba top annotated bibliography proofreading service for university best critical analysis essay writing website ca popular dissertation abstract ghostwriting services us popular blog writing websites best school essay writing sites for masters pay to write art & architecture bibliography top research paper writers website for phd top literature review ghostwriter website gb cheap college movie review socialization and culture top letter editing site au top dissertation results writers sites for school popular cv editing site for university popular thesis writing websites au best creative essay ghostwriting service online cheap literature review editor site au custom college course work example help me write popular creative essay on hacking top academic essay ghostwriter service best critical thinking editor website us professional masters expository essay help best rhetorical analysis essay ghostwriting services uk popular expository essay writer service for school professional homework proofreading website for mba cheap article editing site for college popular school cv examples logic essay ghostwriting site professional mba dissertation proposal esl dissertation ghostwriter services for phd phd essay on history best dissertation methodology ghostwriter website au popular book review proofreading site for university popular course work ghostwriter website usa cheap creative essay ghostwriting for hire for phd esl creative writing writing for hire for school elvis presleys wife cheap dissertation hypothesis ghostwriting for hire for university what are western religions top blog ghostwriting sites ca help writing best analysis essay on hillary cheap dissertation proposal writing for hire au help with custom admission paper buy shakespeare studies thesis top critical essay editor service online esl expository essay writers site custom personal essay editor service for school popular blog ghostwriter sites au type my professional critical essay on shakespeare custom persuasive essay writing sites us esl paper editing site us pay to write health speech cheap essays writers website usa esl university essay ghostwriting website for phd cheap best essay writer services gb cheap scholarship essay proofreading website for phd help with best literature review online custom creative writing writers service au professional annotated bibliography ghostwriter services ca dissertation chapter ghostwriter sites us professional dissertation proposal writer website for mba literature review writers services ca order classic english literature resume persuasive editor services us popular best essay writing for hire for university rhetorical analysis ghostwriter websites au top curriculum vitae proofreading service gb professional research proposal proofreading site for masters popular business plan ghostwriting site for college custom university essay ghostwriting website for mba type my women and gender studies creative writing best mba essay ghostwriters for hire us cheap phd essay ghostwriter service best dissertation abstract ghostwriting website for phd esl speech proofreading sites for school custom argumentative essay editing site for mba custom school letter assistance best dissertation conclusion editor websites for phd do my custom masters essay on shakespeare esl curriculum vitae editor service custom academic essay writing for hire au type my custom academic essay on usa professional critical thinking ghostwriters site for masters esl book review writers websites au professional creative essay ghostwriter websites for university pay to write investments admission essay physics writing websites top critical thinking writers sites ca case study ghostwriter site ca professional presentation ghostwriter site for school cheap argumentative essay editor websites for school popular course work ghostwriters website uk top course work ghostwriter service for school help writing statistics dissertation conclusion popular personal essay writing services online life science essay writers for hire custom thesis proposal writer services uk esl bibliography ghostwriting service cheap university business plan topic best dissertation results editor service ca cheap curriculum vitae editor sites for school best biography editor website au professional argumentative essay writing service top book review writer websites for school popular dissertation ghostwriter site usa custom phd essay ghostwriter website top college essay ghostwriter site online esl blog ghostwriter websites online best best essay writers services us buy logic cover letter professional scholarship essay ghostwriting for hire for university help writing film studies cv esl proofreading website au pay for tourism bibliography top annotated bibliography writing website uk business analysis paper popular rhetorical analysis essay writing websites for phd an image of africa meaning of true friendship cheap cover letter ghostwriters services popular dissertation ghostwriters site usa write me ancient civilizations movie review order world literature book review professional admission essay proofreading website uk popular course work ghostwriter sites for university biography proofreading for hire online ahab in moby dick nature vs nurture research paper custom college dissertation ideas cheap school annotated bibliography advice best course work ghostwriter for hire uk esl article review editing for hire for mba custom definition essay writing site for phd pay to write anthropology article review professional phd dissertation sample cheap book review writer websites custom dissertation results ghostwriter for hire us pay to write communication book review popular article ghostwriter sites online esl speech proofreading website for phd cheap essays writers services au professional masters essay ghostwriting service for phd top business plan writing services for university best curriculum vitae writing website au professional university admission essay advice popular expository essay ghostwriter websites pay to get theater studies dissertation results popular custom essay ghostwriter website for masters custom application letter editing websites for college symbols in the metamorphosis professional thesis proposal ghostwriter service for school popular mba term paper topic breathing underwater sparknotes great depression essay introduction earth science ghostwriters sites cheap personal statement writing services for college custom speech ghostwriting website us dissertation writing services gb popular home work ghostwriters services usa custom descriptive essay writing websites usa professional blog post writers sites for mba popular letter proofreading services for college pay to write custom academic essay on usa best blog editing sites for phd esl admission paper proofreading services uk professional dissertation chapter ghostwriting websites for masters cheap university essay ghostwriter site au custom papers editing site for mba top university essay proofreading website ca help with top dissertation conclusion esl dissertation conclusion editor site au popular blog post writer site for masters esl scholarship essay writers services custom business plan ghostwriter website online esl essays proofreading for hire for mba professional thesis statement writer site uk best article ghostwriters sites ca united methodist communion order earth science admission essay professional personal statement proofreading service for school custom problem solving writers services for school professional homework ghostwriter website ca college ghostwriting websites au logic writing site popular best essay editor services au cheap bibliography ghostwriter for hire uk best report editor site au cheap thesis proofreading site gb professional thesis statement ghostwriter services gb my personal philosophy professional report editing service for university custom ghostwriters website for masters popular scholarship essay proofreading sites usa help me write top blog online top thesis statement writer websites for university cheap assignment ghostwriter services top research paper proofreading site for college cheap research proposal ghostwriter websites online best academic essay proofreading services au pay to get english dissertation hypothesis cheap dissertation abstract ghostwriters sites professional phd resume assistance help with music thesis proposal buy human resource management admission paper professional blog post writer for hire ca best college curriculum vitae samples esl paper ghostwriter service best best essay writing for hire for phd write me best analysis essay online cheap application letter writer sites for mba custom rhetorical analysis essay editing site for college professional problem solving proofreading service for phd esl blog post editing site au reflective editing sites usa esl dissertation conclusion proofreading sites au help with my music home work communication writers services professional phd dissertation hypothesis advice help with my top masters essay on hacking best term paper ghostwriter service for school cheap curriculum vitae editing sites for mba pay to do popular school essay on trump help me write esl university essay on brexit custom research paper writing website gb esl academic essay proofreading for hire top argumentative essay writing services usa popular argumentative essay proofreading for hire for university pay to do history annotated bibliography

Copyright © 2014 - Abaris Behavioral Health - All rights reserved. Site by Greg Moss Design